Oh right, I forgot about this site--even after months of using a library computer. I'm going through a point in my life where I just want to be somewhere else. I'm sure some of y'all have heard about the great flood here in southern Louisiana last Fall, a turn of events which has left me in a deep state of depression. Alongside marijuana and cigarettes, I feel worse about myself than I ever did in the past. I just hope I find enough motivation soon to get a job which I oh-so fucking need.
But, I think something in my head changed just a little bit after watching a NINE HOUR walkthrough of some game called Night In The Woods. It really made me think about a lot of things, for example, my surroundings, my social behavior.
...I don't know. I don't think I changed really except for a new outlook and a new idea. Maybe I shouldn't think too hard about this. Like I heard--thinking leads to over-thinking.
You ever get the feeling of what's the point of anything? Sometimes I don't feel like getting out of bed. Who hasn't? I stayed in a tent for about a week with a homeless friend and I gotta say you have every reason to get out of bed. There's something I like about living in a tent. You don't need much, you're out in the world constantly, and there's no rent. So if I had a job I could just let all that money stack up. And don't even think about going hungry because it's just too easy to get food around here. Like my friend said, "If there's one thing you won't be doing out here is starving."
I mentioned an idea. You probably thought it was what I just said about living in a tent, but no. Let's go back, all the way back to two paragraphs ago. That game I mentioned made me think about where I'm living and other places that could be way more interesting than this. (i.e. southeast Baton Rouge) I've been to other places before, like San Antonio, Indianapolis, ect. Sometimes I wonder what it would've been like if I stayed in Indianapolis. I had three friends and we all stayed in one cul-de-sac. I think I might go back there.
I wanna travel through the Appalachian states, but there's one state in mind that interests me the most, and some people think that's where "Possum Springs" takes place--Pennsylvania. It's a vast state. I don't know what's up there, but I hope there's something up there for me. Something remarkable.
But down here is where all my friends are, except for one up in Arkansas. But I'm willing to say farewell to them for a while as I travel from town to town, state to state. Who knows when I'll be back? Better question is, when will I go?
I think it's about time I dropped acid. I'm not exactly sure why I keep telling myself that, but I think I really want to open my mind to something different and beyond my petty problems. Maybe something about nouns--people, places, things, and ideas. I think nouns are what's ideal to me in life. I had six dollars and some good amount of quarters but I spent it on a nice pack of Camel.
"I'm about to get a pack of cigarettes", I sadly tell myself. "No point in saving these six dollars 'cause it get me anywhere." It wasn't until a few hours have passed that I realized that I could've kept that six and get just a few more dollars to get one hit of LSD. God dammit.
I should get in a fist fight.
Okay, I'm done writing. It's nice to see y'all again.